Shit4Men Off Air

Carved in porcelain

The Man Rules

The unwritten code, finally written down. Volume One, the essentials. Print it. Tape it in the garage. Live it.

  1. You do not leave one beer in the cooler. Finish it or leave enough for a real drink.
  2. If a buddy is moving, you help him move. Payment is pizza and beer. That's the contract.
  3. The urinal buffer zone is sacred. Eyes forward. No talking.
  4. You return the tool cleaner than you borrowed it. Break it, buy the good one.
  5. Never ask another man what he paid for his truck. He paid too much. We all did.
  6. One man at the grill. If you want to help, bring him a beer and step back two paces.
  7. When a man is backing up a trailer, you shut the hell up.
  8. You don't touch another man's thermostat. It's set to that number for a reason, and the reason is money.
  9. Your mom gets a call on her birthday. A call. Not a text.
  10. You can talk shit about your buddy. Nobody else can.

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